Are You a Schmoopy Couple?

What is “schmoopy”? In a classic episode of Seinfeld (“The Soup Nazi,” Season 7, Episode 6), Jerry and his girlfriend constantly refer to each other as “Schmoopy,” thereby disgusting friends and strangers with their saccharine public affection. Herein, the warning signs of this nauseating condition and how to deal (or live) with it.

Read on to see where you fall on the obnoxious scale.

Signs of Schmoopy Couples (or “Schmouples”)
– Public love fests that go well beyond common PDAs such as kissing or tucking your hand into your partner’s back pocket.
– Bringing their bedroom behavior out for public observation. (Schmouples are usually oblivious to the awkward and resentful feelings this behavior incites.)
– Lack of inhibition about making out on the subway or resting their head in the lap of their partner at Starbucks.
– Inviting their schmoopy partner to tag along on guys’/girls’ nights out, regardless of the emphasis put on the “guys” or “girls” portion of the equation.
– Willingly accompanying each other to every appointment they make–even the hairdresser.

You Know You’re Schmoopy When…
– You’re not embarrassed to give or receive lengthy back rubs to/from your partner in public.
– The highlight of every party is staring longingly into your partner’s eyes.
– Checkout lines are merely another opportunity to make out.
– Every text message between you two ends with an infinite string of XOXOXO.
– Butterfly kisses qualify as foreplay.
– You have to call friends to make plans because they automatically assume you’ll be hanging out with your partner…again.

What the Experts Say…
– Relationship therapists Louise Dorfman and David Rubinstein caution that if left unchecked, schmouples often lose sight of their individuality. “You have to know who you’re bringing to the relationship and who you want to bring, and not get caught up in the emotions of your partner,” says Rubinstein.
– Beware of losing friends: Dorfman explains that friends can resent not being able to spend time alone with you. Schmouples will have to decide whether to equally maintain friendships and their relationship.

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Image(s): Boris Zaytsev