relationships

In addition to being a sex writer, author, blogger, video host, producer and director, Jamye Waxman, M.Ed., is a well-known and sought-after educator and lecturer in the field of human sexuality and relationships. Here, she offers seven amazing ways for couples to pump up the passion.

1. Schedule sex. “For two months, schedule sex every two weeks and make it a priority to keep that commitment,” says Waxman. “If you want to be more specific, you can schedule a particular sex act, like ‘On Tuesday night, I’m going to get a blow job’ or ‘Next Wednesday, I’m going to go down on you,’ so you know that you have this to look forward to.”

2. Play dress-up. “Buy a wig. You’ll feel different; you’ll look different. It changes whom you might even think you’re having sex with. So both of you, buy a wig.”

3. Go on a date. “Set up a ‘discovery date,’ where you’re just exploring your partner and then another night they’re exploring you. What happens when we get into a relationship is that it comes down to intercourse all the time—or a lot of the time. The foreplay goes away and all of that. So set up a date where you’re focused on foreplay.”

4. Try something new. Men, “don’t be afraid to experiment with your butt. Your prostate is an amazing, amazing place to go to get ridiculous amounts of pleasure. Also, try a vibrator. Guys like vibration, they just don’t realize they do because most of them think it’s just for girls.”

5. Write naughty notes. Open up special email accounts where you can exchange secret love letters or even explore your fantasies with one another (or use the Journal function in your 2life app!). For example, write to your partner: “‘These are five things I want to try, from one to five. Why don’t you rearrange them, deleting anything you don’t want to try and adding anything you want to try?’ So by the time you have the conversation [in person], it’s not, ‘You want to do this?! I can’t believe you want to try this!’”

6. Show your love. Remind your partner how much you love them on a regular basis. “Make it a priority—even if it’s going out of your way—to tell them something loving or to do something a little bit out of the ordinary. If you know your partner likes getting flowers, bring them flowers once a week! What is the harm?”

7. Keep your goody drawer well-stocked. “Lube is essential. You can’t give a great hand job or anything without lube because there’s a lot of tension and friction,” says Waxman. “And, if you have the money, get the We-Vibe. It was created by a husband and wife. She wears it during intercourse, and he goes and slides inside of her. It allows her to have some clitoral stimulation, which most women need to get off.”