weddings 101

It’s a blissful feeling, getting engaged, and it’s natural to want to share your joy with your friends and family–many of whom will be delighted to hear your news.But for many couples, the engagement announcement doesn’t end with a call to Mom and Dad; they broadcast their new relationship status to hundreds (maybe thousands) of friends and followers on social media sites.

Technically, there’s no right or wrong answer when it comes to sharing your news via Facebook, Twitter and/or Instagram–it boils down to whether or not a couple is comfortable sharing personal info in this way. But you ought to consider a few things before you rush to post a pic of your shiny new engagement ring and your news goes viral.

If you do choose to share this info online, consider who will see the announcement. If you’re sharing the news with 1,147 Facebook friends, how many of them can you invite to your celebration? Will the former coworker that you haven’t seen in months be upset if she sees that you’re engaged, but never receives a wedding invitation? Keeping your news offline can help prevent hurting the feelings of those that you can’t include in your special day.

If you really don’t want the news to appear on social media, ask friends and family to refrain from posting messages of congrats or asking about your wedding (and any pre-wedding events) using social media. You might even ask that people not share photos of engagement parties, showers and bachelorette parties online. If these are your wishes, it’s important that you clearly communicate them to friends and family when you announce the engagement.

And what about your wedding? Will you share photos of your big day online? Are you comfortable having your guests post pics of the celebration? While many couples create custom wedding hashtags for their guests to use when sharing photos on various social media sites; try WeddingWire’s fun Hashtag Generator tool to find a clever and memorable one and start spreading the word about your hashtag sooner rather than later. Other couples opt for “unplugged” weddings, where they ask guests to either (a) refrain from taking photos at all or (b) take photos, but keep them private and not post them to social media. Do you really want someone Instagramming your first kiss to their 6,000 followers? This might not bother some couples, but for others it’s a violation of a personal and sacred moment. Are you comfortable with the fact that people that you couldn’t invite might see the photos and know they weren’t included?

If you decide that an unplugged wedding is right for you, clearly communicate this to your guests early on. Include a message that expresses your wishes for an unplugged wedding (with a brief explanation of exactly what that means) in your wedding invitation, or include it on your personal wedding website. It’s wise to reiterate this to guests on your wedding day, as well–a DIY sign is a cute, friendly reminder of your wishes.

On the other hand, if you want to encourage guests to share photos using a custom hashtag, you might include a sign or have printables as a visual reminder of the proper spelling. The upside to this crowd-source style of sharing means you’ll probably see lots of hilarious moments that friends or relatives snapped while you were off mingling, or posing for photos with the professional photographer.

Put some thought into how you want to handle these major life events in the digital world. Once you’ve decided what’s right for you and your partner, take control of the situation by clearly communicating your wishes with friends and family, whether that means they’re free to blab about your wedding online, or whether you’d like them to keep it hush-hush.

Images: iStock, Dewan Demmer Photography