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Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and what better time to revisit the tenets of gift-giving? Especially for the men out there. Even with all the right intentions, some guys are clueless when it comes to buying Valentine’s Day gifts for their girlfriends or wives. Here are 8 gift-giving DOs and DON’Ts for dudes.

DO listen carefully. Women are always hinting at things they’d like, so listen up–and write it down.

DO plan ahead and make sure you have enough time–and money–to buy her something she will love.

DON’T give cash or a gift card. She’ll end up thinking that you didn’t give this gift any thought. A gift card might be met with gratitude when it comes from a colleague or kid brother, but she wants something thoughtful from her man.

DON’T settle for cheap jewelry. The last thing a woman needs is for her neck to turn green from the silver necklace you bought her at a random outlet store. We don’t need Cartier, but we do need quality.

DON’T buy lingerie. Unless you know her size. It’s bound to be awkward if you buy a negligee that is either too big or too small.

DON’T buy her something that you actually want. If she hates basketball, why buy her tickets for the next game?

DON’T buy her a cookbook. Unless she specifically asked for one. Chances are she already knows how to cook and this kind of gift might send the wrong message.

DON’T be a gift repeater. Keep track of what gifts you’ve bought for her for every occasion in order to eliminate the possibility of giving her a duplicate.